The libra in me is all about love, happiness and balance , and I want the same for all that is around me .It just seems though that I don’t get that from others. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO ANGRY? and for me it’s usually the people around me the most angry , like family and friends. I can’t take it anymore, the older I get im realizing I have to do what makes me happy and follow my heart. I can’t please everyone and boy ! have I tried and failed numerous times . Even when I did succeeded I was miserable. So im tired and I don’t want to do it anymore. call me selfish, mean, heartless or just a plain BITCH. I don’t care this is it im growing into my own and even if its isn’t right I will learn along the way, the hard way as I always have . All I know is im having fun and im loving it
A friend of mine went on a date with a gentle man she has been conversing with for months on social media , they both were finally able to make time to see each other through their busy schedule and all. She gets picked up by the gentle man who she was so excited to see . lets say Linda and Harry.
Linda was dressed to the tea and Harry was looking dapper him self , Linda gets in the car and Harry rushes over to give her kiss and Linda quickly turns her cheek towards him so there lips wont touch .For Linda it was way too soon in the night for that plus Linda doesn’t kiss, but in the 3 months of conversation she kinda didn’t mention that . The night progresses well according to harry who thinks Linda is just shy or nervous , while Linda kept rushing to the bathroom calling her friends and complaining about how she thinks this is a mistake .
Now Harry was a complete gentleman very sweet who did everything he could on that date to make Linda happy and he had feelings for her that grew stronger once he saw her in that amazing black dress . As a man whose needs hadn’t been met in months he really wanted to see a lot more of Linda that night , now he knew it wasnt a hit it n quit it kinda thing cuz he wanted to see her again and again .
Linda comes out the bathroom and Harry is ready to go and proceeds to invite Linda over to his place for a drink, some music ,and more convo: Linda accepts, see Linda knows whats up she is a grown woman who also hasn’t had sex in months and since Harry has been so sweet she felt why not even though she knew she had no feelings for him at all . At least not in a i want you so bad kinda way but instead we can be friends and not friends with benefits just friends.
They get to harry’s place , he gets the drinks turns on some trey songs and before u know u it Harry goes in again for that kiss and this time Linda stops him dead in his tracks n says ” i don’t kiss but u can bend me over on this couch” harry like sure even better straight to the point he liked it . 15 minutes later harry is happy and relieved Linda is ready to go .
She try’s not to hurt his feelings n comes up with the worst lie in history . Linda says ” i forgot i had to pick up my son from the babysitter early on Sundays around 4pm so i have to go ” and Harry goes” but its friday and its 10pm” . Linda knew her son was at her moms for the weekend but she completely forgot what day it was didn’t check the time n was so focused on getting out of there and what story she was gonna use that she wasnt even thinking clearly . Harry got the message anyway and took Linda home while the whole way there she kept trying to find her way out that horrible lie.
Harry still calls Linda and every now and then they talk a little, Linda felt so bad for how she treated Harry that night. It made me think about how ladies always say the guys are the mean ones who use us but its clear that , that’s not always the case
I decided if i was gonna write then i was gonna treat this like i would my journal and as u already know i don’t have a filter so it can get really intense kinda quick or just plain hilarious. I started this for a cause and that’s reaching out anyway i can to teen moms , mothers in need because that’s my passion .
Then i realized well in order for them to get me and why i want to do what i do is to understand my struggle the crazy things that go on in my head and how i deal with it . see i come from something called proper or raised right and all that but damn did i go the opposite way.
so im gonna start talking about what ever hits me that day or some of the story’s ive heard along the way that i would love to share or just plain spazzing out. lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI0Q_3Om1Z4 ( NO FILTER)
A long time ago i would write everything down and i still kinda do just in a different way now , Eg: blogging. I would write about anything and everything sometimes to my detriment. I would write in my journal and say most of the things i really can’t tell my parents, teachers , kids yes i said kids , friends , lovers, husband etc. I had no filter i would get so mean and i called it real and i kinda still do. The thing is even though i would write about it , it’s not like i was too sacred to say it to their face . Which is a weird character for a libra because we are not confrontational but talk to people who know me they would think i am . I always say im ready for a fight , it’s just that i don’t start it but i will finish it . Basically i don’t take no shit, i will fight for justice for anyone including my self another libra thing i suppose
As i continued writing my journals they always got found and read . Most of the time they really didn’t have to go looking for them because they weren’t hidden. not like they should have been, and then all hell breaks loose. Everyone gets to know how i really felt about them in the first place. I really didn’t mind much that my ex would find out that i don’t like his sister, or that i think my math teacher is a pervert. but once these people got to find out then they wanted to confront me and find out if i really meant it . And my answer always was hell yeah i meant it seriously, what kind of question is that i freaking wrote it and you were a dick when i wrote it that’s why i wrote it duh.
I just don’t get people sometimes they say and do things and expect you to not respond and do nothing about it . Most of the time it’s because they are in control or think they have the power to destroy your happiness or self esteem. I think that is the reason why i lash out the way i do because i wonder who gives you the right to hurt me , how freaking dare you and expect me not to say anything or for the sake of being civil and nice i have to keep my mouth shut. I don’t think so , there is a time and place for every thing and i know that . That is why i write shit down for crying out loud, so when i take the time to spare your feeling and put it down on paper and you go and invade my privacy and expect me to then back off again, then that’s where i draw the line . I will not adjust my tone or spare you again, im gonna go all in and this time i wont hesitate .
I always liked writing , i kept journals all the time and still have lots of them dated years back. Some just got missing from moving so much. I wanted to start this blog because i had put together a company that focused on the needs of people , so i guess u can put us under the category of health, wellness and fitness.
Now i am no expert but i feel life has taught me quite a few things about these subjects, and the others i was taught while growing up . I grew up in a very strict home , so i never had a voice once i became an adult i had so much to say but yet still people wanted to put a muzzle on me . That never stopped me from speaking my mind.
As you already know i love to write and read, im also very critical of my self and others. I tend to ooze a lot self esteem but if people only knew its a cover-up of how i really feel , truly insecure. And it’s not that i don’t think im pretty i know i am ive heard it all my life , my insecurities stem from the direction my life has taken me . Knowing i failed the only man who has ever truly loved me my father, yes i am a daddy’s girl
All this being said it doesn’t mean i don’t have any thing to offer, boy do i have a lot . I am so determined to be the best at what ever i do . I consider my self very laid back and down to earth. Put me in a crowd of people with a cocktail in my hand and we will have a ball. Not saying i need alcohol to socialize . lol .
Even though i am hear to teach, help and listen , i am also here to learn and i am already , there are so many intellectuals here its beautiful and some are just hilarious.
Thank you and God bless.
look at how the two are holding hands and the third all he or she wants is to be a part of this friendship . longing to be a part of something. And already im sure the female got her head turned to the side like i dont know if i like you yet. (lol) . I feel like that everyday.
Im that loaner.